Ep 57 How to Get What You Want
Welcome to the Vermilion podcast, a free audio library of business strategies,
creative inspiration and industry knowledge for actors, filmmakers, writers and anyone
looking to activate their creative potential. I'm Misha Calvert, a writer -director who
helps artists build the careers that they dream of. I really hope that this podcast
inspires you in some way. Thanks for tuning in.
I'm really really excited about this week's topic. How to get what you want. Why?
Because I like getting what I want and I want you to get what you want too.
There are strategies to it and you know the downside is that life doesn't always
get better.
I've seen it get worse for people that I really, really care about. And I think if
you want your life to get better, you have to change your behavior.
You have to work, you have to do certain things to make it better.
I'm gonna cover some thoughts on how to get what you want. By the end of this,
you have a good plan on how you want to go after what you want. So feel free to
pause the episode and take notes as we go, because I'm going to cover a lot of
ground and have some question and answer. Like, I'm going to ask a question, you
write down your answers, and that's really going to help you figure out how you
feel about this.
So the first question is, what do you want? What do you really want? Is it a side
quest, be honest. - There's only three possible answers to that question of is it a
side quest? Yes, and that's okay. Yes,
and I'm gonna abandon this mission now that I realized it's a side quest, and no,
I really, really want this.
So if you really, really want this, Then let's go with that. This is more designed
for the really, really want this than the side quest.
Imagine doing, having, or being the thing that you really want.
What does that feel like in your heart and in your body?
Just take a moment and let your body imagine what it feels like and in your heart,
in your emotions, what does that feel like? What other things give you that same
feeling in your heart and your body? For instance, if you really,
really want a best friend and you feel sad and lonely and you really want to
create a new relationship in your life, we have a very close friend, maybe you
actually feel that same feeling in your body when you think about having a best
friend. On a smaller scale, you feel that in your body when you think about having
a dog and you don't have a dog right now. So write down what are the other
situations where you have that same feeling in your body?
Question number five, can you find time in your day to today where you are
practicing having that feeling, where you are doing things that give you that same
feeling as the thing you really want on the microcosm. Maybe it's just buying
yourself a nice coffee. Maybe that feels like having a best friend, you know, like
warm, cozy, nice sit -down gossip, kind of a feeling. Start filling your life with
people, places, and things that give you that same same feeling as what you really
want. This is a super speed life hack to actually getting what you really want
faster. It's also about making space for the feeling that you really want to feel
when you have the thing you really want because let's say you get to the level of
the thing you really want. If you aren't practiced in feeling joy,
gratitude and ease or peace, you might get that thing you really want and you still
are a basket case. You're anxious, you're ungrateful, you are criticizing everything,
insecure, terrified, it's gonna be taken away. Usually the expansion of your life and
the expansion of your bank account expands your existing psychological issues,
it just amplifies your state of mind. So if you're used to being in a state of
mind of gratitude, then that will be amplified. But if you're not used to feeling
joy, how do you expect to feel it on that much grander scale when you finally do
get the thing you really want? There's all sorts of people that I can think of who
are rich, famous, and they are miserable.
So you have to practice the feelings so that literally, so that you can enjoy it
when you do get it. Because I truly believe that if you're not practiced, you're
not going to enjoy it.
Number six, can you think of things in your life that give you the opposite feeling
as the thing you really want? It gives you like a bad feeling.
It's not what you want. If the thing you want gives you peace, this gives you
conflict. If the thing you want gives you happiness, this gives you sadness. To
write down a list, all the things that maybe even on the same topic of the thing
that you really want, things give you the opposite feeling. Because guess what? By
allowing those people, places, and things that give you the opposite feeling from
what you want, you are signaling to your subconscious that you don't deserve the
good feeling of what you do want, and you're training yourself to settle for the
opposite. You're training yourself to think that that's okay. You don't need the joy,
you don't need the gratitude, you don't need the ease. If you really want something,
get meticulous about, "Okay, what are the things that are They're not aligned with
that, they're actually the opposite of that. And can I take responsibility for making
an edit, a life edit, on those people places and things that are the opposite of
the direction that I want to go? I don't owe them my time and my company,
right? I don't have to have that thing in my house. And maybe you do owe them,
but then you pay the debt and you move on. There's a lot of things in,
I would say, probably everyone's life that are taking up space that just they just
don't need to be there. So what is one action step that you can take today,
today,
to start the shedding process? Shedding the people and places and things that are
not aligned with what you really want. Can you write down one thing that you're
gonna do today? It can be very small.
All right, here's a different way into getting what you really want. Imagine someone
who is really successful at the thing you want.
Picture them doing the thing, picture their career. But now imagine that they have
the same idea that you have. They have the same idea for the thing that you really
want. Like something they're like, "Oh, I want to do that." So this is now day one
of them having that idea. "Oh, I think I want to try that," they say. Write down
what do they do now? What do they do?
What's the first thing that they do in pursuit of this same thing that you really
want? They know that they won't fail. What are the first steps that they take?
Write it down. And now imagine that this person who is well known for the thing
that you really want They've got the idea to do what you want to do They start
that thing Okay, they've started It went well whatever the first steps were those
first steps went well they worked What What are the next steps that they take? What
are the next things that they do? Those next steps worked, as they would. This
person's very good at this thing. But now they meet an obstacle. Something comes up
that gets in their way of moving forward. They meet an obstacle. What is the
obstacle? And how do they overcome it? What is the obstacle likely to be?
Write that down. And then write down How did they overcome it? Knowing that they
can't fail, what do they do to demolish this obstacle?
If you were to model your behavior on this topic, after the behavior of that person
who successfully has done it in the past, with the question and answer that we just
did, what would be the first step that you would take toward you getting the thing
that you really want. What do you need to do to take the first steps that you
know are gonna work toward the thing that you want while still feeling in your
heart and body, the feeling of, for instance, peace, ease, joy,
that you know you will have when you have the thing you want in your imagination?
Because if you can take those steps while holding on to the feelings that you would
have at the end of this process, you're way more likely to achieve the result you
want and faster. And of course way more likely to feel those same feelings when you
do get to the end.
And one of the final ways I'm going to give you to get what you want is what I
call the pre -steps. So before you start doing the steps to get there, even if you
just set up your environment to create an ecosystem that is conducive to you
succeeding at the steps, that sometimes is enough. Like the steps happen effortlessly.
They happen without you even trying. or with very little effort, which is great
because then you have more energy to do everything else that you need to do in
life. So think about what are the pre -steps?
Is one of those pre -steps like get more sleep or give up drinking or dump the
person that you actually don't really like or move out of your parent's house or
get a new job? What are the pre -steps? What's the thing that you know you need to
do before anything else in order to set yourself up to do the steps that you know
you need to do to get the thing that you want. I find a lot of people who are
just naturally good at everything, like whatever they touch, it seems to work. It's
because, well, confidence, but also they just set up the pre -steps.
So they have infrastructure, whether it's mental infrastructure or physical
infrastructure. You can also time jump and go a long distance in a short amount of
time by, I already explained this part of things, but I just want to revisit it
because it's really important. You use somatic work to do the emotional, spiritual
channeling of how you want to feel at the end of the process. You start with that
at the beginning. This time jumps you and so you're jumping into the future and
aligning with that moment that doesn't even exist yet. This pulls you to the future
much faster speaking from experience. And let your body become a magical body of
time travel.
Using your emotions, I think there's divine power in our emotions and in our body
that we haven't even begun to understand yet.
A lot of people get trapped in their body in the past because the body does store
trauma
and they get trapped in a certain emotional note, sort of like a record skipping.
And they will stay on that same skipping emotional note sometimes for their entire
lives and their body will stay in a frozen traumatized mode, sometimes for their
entire lives. This is the other reason why it's so good to practice joy, practice
ease, and start to embody it now, right now. Because if you're thinking joy but
your body is feeling terror, it's not a recipe that's going to work. Alright,
Last point. Find someone who you can trust with this kind of,
you know, very gentle, tender work. Sharing your dreams is tender. You need to find
someone who's not going to laugh at them and who's not going to minimize them and
who's not going to minimize you, who's going to hold the vision for you and really,
really support you in this. Find them and share what you really want.
ask for any support that you might need toward getting what you really want. Me
voicing what I want has lit up this other person, and they're able to voice what
they want for the first time. And I'm actually able to empower them to go after
what they want. And now we're both better for this. And two plus two equals eight,
because we've now uplifted each other.
We can become happier, we can become more peaceful. As artists,
we can create our life. Our life is a work of art.
And we don't need to just be a victim to circumstance and to take what's given to
us and to take the way that people treat us as fact. No. There's so much more
that you're meant for. There's so much bigger waiting for you.
And I really hope that this offers you a few tips that will help you to get what
you want. Thank you very much for joining me for this episode and I can't wait to
see you next week. The Vermilion podcast is sponsored by Vermilion, a home for
artists. We offer classes, coaching, and community for creatives and innovators in the
arts. If you're ready to find your voice and build the life of your dreams, we're
here to support you every step of the way. Check out clubvermilion .com and schedule
a free call today.
