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Unknown
Welcome to Film on Tape, a free audio library for creatives in film and television. My name is Misha Calvert, and I've worked as an actor, writer, director and producer for many decades. I had so many questions when I was first getting started in New York, and I just wanted fast, free answers. That is what this library is for.
00;00;25;05 - 00;00;51;18
Unknown
The work that you do as a creative. It's so important. I really hope that this library is going to help get your work out there. Film on tape is sponsored by Vermillion, a coaching and educational company for creatives. You can learn more at Club vermilion.com. This week we're going to talk about networking. And this is going to apply to every single person who has ever wanted to network in their lives.
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Unknown
Now that word is kind of got a lot of negativity around it. Networking. People think of it as like laundry or like, you know, like just icky. Kind of like homework. Like it's just one of those words that has such a heavy kind of chore feeling to it. And it really doesn't have to be that way. So I'm going to call it networking, but maybe by the end of this episode, we're going to figure out a different word for it that makes us feel better and happier and more excited when we think about the process, really, of getting to know people who you haven't met before.
00;01;32;02 - 00;02;02;23
Unknown
So I get a lot of actors asking about networking, but also just all sorts of all sorts of people. And I myself have been venturing into new networking habitats, brand new, like beginner mind. I'm talking about moving into tech and AI and even some venture capital spaces. Recently as I move more to corporate coaching and executive coaching. So I am right there with you figuring out how to best network.
00;02;02;25 - 00;02;26;21
Unknown
And I'm going to give you four tips that I have been using that I think anyone can use. And they're not they're not the tips that you're going to hear anywhere else. They're kind of out of pocket like a little bit edgy. So they're also fun. So I'm just going to go through them one through four. And if you use these in a networking event and they work, I want you to let me know.
00;02;26;27 - 00;02;53;00
Unknown
Please let me know if you've tested this and it works. DM me at my Instagram at Misha Calvert or drop me an email Misha at Club room.com. Let me know if these four strategies made it easier for you to network. All right, so the first thing that I can say is, the easiest way to talk to strangers at an event is to remember the purpose of the event.
00;02;53;03 - 00;03;14;24
Unknown
So remember the assignment. So some examples, let's say you're at a screening and there's like a little mingling before and after the screening of a film or a pilot or something. Well the assignment is we're all there to watch something together and ideally have a response to it. So easiest thing to do is to talk about the thing that you're about to see.
00;03;14;24 - 00;03;38;06
Unknown
And it's something that probably most people are going to be extremely open to. And, you know, it's like you don't need to say anymore. It's like, let's talk about the thing we just watched. What did you like? And you know, if, by the way, if you're in a screening, it's really best not to trash talk what you've just seen because you never know if like the executive producers right behind you or the star is right behind you.
00;03;38;06 - 00;04;03;28
Unknown
So try to keep it positive and keep it, you know, interesting and honest and all that. But just yeah, be careful with that one. Another example is if you're at a panel like for instance, a panel on I well, the assignment is you go to the panel and you listen to them talk. So afterwards and I was just at an AI panel about two weeks ago afterwards, the obvious choice is you're going to be talking about AI with the people that are drinking there, you know, whatever, $15 drinks.
00;04;04;01 - 00;04;27;18
Unknown
So you can talk about the thing that brought you all there together. And they they can and sometimes even should be really dumb questions like, what did you think of the panel? Wow, that was a really interesting film. How did it make you feel? Could you hear the moderator? Because I couldn't hear them. You know, they can be really dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb questions.
00;04;27;20 - 00;05;01;00
Unknown
But those are called icebreakers. Don't underestimate the value of a dumb icebreaker. Like. And when I do them, I'll even kind of acknowledge myself like, oh, this is about to be a really dumb question. Here we go. And people love they love these icebreakers. They just love like any excuse to kind of not feel awkward. So if you think of yourself as like your job is to make people not feel awkward, then follow the assignment and just go for that.
00;05;01;03 - 00;05;26;20
Unknown
I am so excited to tell you that I'm launching a brand new slate of classes that are incredibly helpful on my website. Some of the classes include an on camera acting technique and how to self produce your own film actor self care, which is something that nobody talks about and how to write a feature film in ten days, which I'm going to teach you how I did it and how you can do it too.
00;05;26;23 - 00;05;41;14
Unknown
And believe me when I say I poured my heart into these courses. Go to Club vermillion.com. I am so excited about this website. I can't wait to work with you.
00;05;41;17 - 00;06;08;09
Unknown
Okay, so the second strategy that is maybe a little bit harder to wrap your head around, but is incredibly important and incredibly effective is to have curiosity about the people in the room and not just like the people that look like they might be fancy or, you know, attractive or like where the eye naturally goes, but literally have curiosity for everyone at the event.
00;06;08;12 - 00;06;31;07
Unknown
And what that's going to do is that's going to put the focus on them. It's going to take it off of you. Like critiquing and judging yourself and feeling so awkward in your own skin. It's going to put the emphasis and the the attention on other people and it's going to be positive attention. So automatically your job is easier because you're not self criticizing.
00;06;31;07 - 00;06;53;29
Unknown
So all the energy that was going towards being critical towards your self is now on other people and, you know, trying not to move into the judgment space because that's really easy. It's it's negative. It's the energy out of the room. Try and stay in the positive curiosity of it. And also remember, like you literally don't know who someone is.
00;06;54;02 - 00;07;22;16
Unknown
Like, these are strangers. So someone could look like I there was a clip of, Selena Gomez and her fiancé Benny Blanco at the red carpet thing, and he looked so much like a bum that security tried to kick him out of the event, and it was like her event. So you just never know based on how someone looks, who they are, what they're doing, they're, you know, they could be like running the event or the one person that you wanted to talk to.
00;07;22;16 - 00;07;49;28
Unknown
So stay in your curiosity and let your curiosity guide you to striking up conversations with anyone. Everyone. I mean, could you actually talk to everyone in the room? I know some events. It's like hundreds of people. It's impossible. But at some places, can you make that your goal? You just check off, you know, set like a little game to yourself of, just curious about all 15 people in this room.
00;07;49;28 - 00;08;22;11
Unknown
Can I make a little connection to each of them? All right. Number three strategy. This is where it starts to get interesting. So the third strategy is seduction. And that doesn't mean sexually. Obviously we're speaking mostly about work events in this context, although it does work at the bar as well. You know, really what it is is it's like a sales tactic and it is incredibly effective.
00;08;22;11 - 00;08;52;04
Unknown
And seduction it again, it doesn't have to be romantic. It can be just I want this person to open up and trust me, and I want to make them feel special. And that's the exchange because most people are closed, right. Like you go to an event and most people are kind of a little bit closed or a little bit like no new friends or just like shut off energy, you know, a little shy maybe.
00;08;52;06 - 00;09;23;24
Unknown
I mean, maybe not at film parties, but you know what I'm saying? There's a barrier. And if you can employ seduction automatically, it boosts your status because you're signaling to yourself, I got this, and I'm not awkward, and I have nothing to lose to the point where I can actually be generous and make someone else feel special. So that kind of liquid, you know, getting somebody to really want to talk to you.
00;09;23;24 - 00;09;46;09
Unknown
And there can be elements of wit and empathy. And I don't want to call this manipulation, although it might start to sound like that. Remember, you're trying to make a connection, and the connection is for both of your benefits. You're really just trying to get close to somebody. So seduction would be my third strategy. And, you know, does this really good is Dacre Montgomery from Stranger Things.
00;09;46;11 - 00;10;05;22
Unknown
There's all these videos on the internet where he just like he'll have his girlfriend, like right next to him and the interviewer on the red carpet, who he's probably never seen before and will never see again? She's asking him questions. The stranger, and he all looks like he is in love with her or on interview shows like you're like, is he?
00;10;05;27 - 00;10;33;24
Unknown
Is he in love with every one he meets because his his eyes are just so taking in the other person and his smile. And you can tell like he's not thinking at all about himself. He has no shred of insecurity. He's just like falling into the eyes of whoever he's talking to. And it it's extremely compelling. I think that's it doesn't have to be, again, romantic or sexual in any way.
00;10;33;26 - 00;11;04;27
Unknown
It can be just, oh my God, I want to connect with this person. The fourth strategy in the final strategy is charm and the charm really wraps all of these together. So we have a purpose for being here. The assignment we have, our curiosity about the other person, and we're able to use elements of seduction to forge a connection with them.
00;11;04;29 - 00;11;34;15
Unknown
The charm brings it all together, and it comes back around to the assignment, because all that is well and good if you connect with somebody and you know you have a great conversation. But like, let's say that in order to kind of close the deal, quote unquote, with the conversation, take it to the next level. You either contact info, well, if you just leave it there without getting the contact info, then that's, you know, it was a nice conversation, but like, what do you have to show for it?
00;11;34;15 - 00;11;55;00
Unknown
So the charm allows you to slide in at the end and be like, hey, would you mind if I, follow you on Instagram or can I drop you an email? I'd love to send you that link that I told you about. Or are you on LinkedIn? You know, whatever can get you to follow up with them. And that's where you take it to the next phase.
00;11;55;00 - 00;12;21;08
Unknown
It's really, really important. The follow up is key with these professional networking environments. And, you know, on one level, transactionally everything that happens at the event, the purpose of that is leading up to that follow up. But it's important to not over focus on the result of that conversation. So it's like you got to forget that you have an agenda when you're talking to somebody.
00;12;21;08 - 00;12;43;24
Unknown
And then at the very end, remember, oh, right. I need to get their contact info so I can actually have something to show for this conversation. So two quick little tidbits to add on to this. If confidence is a problem, you can do two things. You can double the amount of time it takes you to get ready. So basically if it takes you normally 30 minutes to get ready, try getting ready for an hour before you go to this event.
00;12;43;26 - 00;13;07;19
Unknown
And then the second thing time tested classic. Bring a wing man or woman, just a wing to the event with you and let them wing for you and you wing for them and talk each other up. It's often very much easier to talk someone else up than to talk yourself up. Not if you're me, because I'm a psycho, but, having that wing person there can be really helpful and reassuring.
00;13;07;19 - 00;13;27;00
Unknown
Just make sure you don't only talk to them. In fact, you can set a time limit on how long you talk to each other before you have to go talk to other people. So I really hope that these networking strategies work for you. Let's see. Do we have found the word for networking, making friends? Yeah, let's call it making friends.
00;13;27;02 - 00;13;44;22
Unknown
There's no such thing as a stranger, only a friend you haven't met. And on that note, I'm going to do a party night and I'm going to be using all of these tactics. So let's see how many new friends I can make. I'll see you next week.
00;13;44;24 - 00;14;11;01
Unknown
Thank you so much for listening to Phil Monday. If you like the way that I approach the industry, check out our other classes, consulting and [email protected]. Vermillion is a home for artists and those looking to expand creatively. Whether you're an actor, film professional, an entrepreneur, or a CEO. We'll help you find your voice and hone your skills to thrive in any market at any scale.
00;14;11;04 - 00;14;28;20
Unknown
You can schedule a free phone consultation at Club vermilion.com.
